Saturday, May 9, 2015

Out-takes from the Mist: Not-so-Sweet “Corn”


Made my way into the Teachers’ Lounge one time and found two colleagues camped out chatting. One says, “Maybe he’ll know” and inquires if I’m familiar with the term “Bathtub Ham.”

Upon reflection, I was able to provide the ladies with a logical, though potentially dead-wrong, train of thought. To this day I still don’t know if this was ever a hyperbolic colloquialism for a good old-fashioned New England boiled dinner in which the meat was so plump and the accoutrements so plentiful it had to be cooked in the tub. (To my Irish Dad, any particularly sizable and satisfying meal was “like a boiled dinner.”)

Without the benefit of either reflection or filter and with as straight a face as I could muster, I replied, "Someone who sings in the shower?”

The sophomore English teacher – who more immediately had to deal with the products of my freshman class than did her curious companion who wrestled with the minds of the little darlings as juniors – kinda in a “Did I hear that correctly?” sort of way, mouthed my words before literally LOL-ing.

The Enquiring Mind did not give me the satisfaction of a chuckle but did acknowledge that she’d “walked right into that one.”